I think I am at the place with my new healthy eating were I am comfortable enough with my addiction to food that I can eat on occasion some foods that don't fit into my daily healthy eating. A couple weeks ago we had my use to be favorite Krispy Kreme doughs (which by the way are 200 calories, 12g fat, 10g sugar, actually not as bad as I thought they would be) a couple weekends ago, and I know I am fine to not fall off the wagon so to speak and go into a crazy binge. I say my use to be favorite because they use to be my fav but since I haven’t had them in so long my taste buds have changed now. The doughnuts were good but not as wonderful as I had thought they would have been, and when in the past I could down 3 of them in one sitting, I could only make it through a half of one and had to put it down for a bit before I finished it, it was so sweet and rich. This makes me happy because I know now I don’t need to Jones for them because they really were not as great as I had thought they were going to be, therefore it wont be something I wish I could eat often again. We have also gone out to Red Robbin a burger place and I got a blue cheese burger with fries, again before if I ate something like that when I was “dieting” in the past I would have thought that would have thrown me off into the mind set of “well I screwed up so I mine as well eat what ever I want all weekend long” and then the way that use to go in the past is the weekend would turn into Monday, Tuesday, and hell by Wednesday, the week is half over by then so I mine as well restart the “diet” next Monday.
It felt good going out to eat and having the doughnuts knowing I was in the right place in my life to NOT let it throw me off balance this time. I feel like this shows me I am and can continue to do this forever!!! Again this is another reason when I say I am not on a diet but I have changed my eating habits forever, because as said above if I was just dieting, I would fall into the mind set of “oh well I screwed up again I will restart a different day” and in the mean time would feel like I need to gorge myself with everything I could get my hands on. When you actually go into the weight loss thing with the mind set of your plan is you want to change your eating habits forever opposed to just going on a diet to just loose some weight, you just think differently about food in general. You will learn over time you can eat some of the items that made you unhealthy and fat to begin with on OCCASION and be fine with it. For me I feel my food addition was so great that’s why it took me 17 months to be at this place, that I felt safe enough to have a bit of these foods again. You all know I have said many times before what worked for me was to completely stay away from these “trigger” foods till I knew I could handle them without them throwing me into a life of hell all over again by spiraling out of control. Again this shows me how strong I am. It also showed me some of those foods I use to drool for really are not as good as I remembered they were, because my tastes have changed so much over the last 17months. It's a good day!!!
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