Food addiction

     For years I have said I believe that being fat and therefore being addicted to food is like being an alcoholic or drug addict, (not that I know what being an alcoholic or drug addict is like) but I think food is my “drug of choice“.  For people addicted to food I do feel it is a little harder because you cant just completely give up food, obviously we need food to live. You have to retrain yourself how to eat so to speak, you cant just give up the “addiction” all together.  Therefore making it very hard, to get a handle on this addiction.  My own opinion is that anyone that is fat is a food addict to some point, because if you weren’t addicted to food and wouldn’t be fat, it’s that simple.  None of us grew up saying oh I cant wait to be fat, I want to be fat, therefore if we weren’t “addicted” to food we not be fat right now. 

    I feel I am on my way to becoming a recovering food addict, and just like a drug or alcohol addict it will be a life long struggle for me, but I am preparing myself with the proper knowledge and tools to help me stay on the right track for the rest of my life, I know it wont always be easy but one I am prepared for and want to take!!  

I will explain how food is such a strong force in my life.
   I have always felt that people that have never had an issue with weight just don’t get it, (actually some fat people also I will explain about that in a different blog) frankly I have been embarrassed to sometimes talk with people that don’t have weight issues, because I feel they are just looking at me saying to themselves “just don’t eat it, it’s not that hard”  well for people addicted to food it is just that hard. 
     The first time I heard another fat person say “It’s like the food calls to me“, and they went on to say  “you get this overwhelming feeling you just cant fight,  knowing full well you shouldn’t be putting this piece of food in your mouth, but you just cant stop“.  When I  heard someone else say what I have felt, it made me feel good because I knew then others feel the same way I do, and it made me feel maybe I wasn’t so crazy, weak, stupid, and a horrible person because I couldn’t control this part of my life, if others felt the same way as I have. 

    I have heard now scientists are actually doing more and more studies on “food addictions”  they are truly finding that food addictions are very very similar to other addictions (alcohol, drugs, sex, or whatever your vice may be).  Not that we should use that as an excuse, we just have more information to help us understand that we are not weak, crazy or what ever you may feel when you just cant stop yourself from putting that doughnut in your mouth, when on one hand your brain is telling you don’t eat that because it isn’t good for you, and on the other hand you just cant stop yourself from eating it .  If you have ever felt like this just know your not alone.  Don’t feel bad about yourself or beat yourself up because you wonder why cant I just stop myself it shouldn’t be that hard to just say no, but clearly it is. You just need to find the right tools to help yourself control your food addiction. Not all things work for all people, the key is finding the right ones that work for you.  In future blogs I will write things that have worked for me and things others I have told me that work for them.

      Roy and I still struggle with the addiction part at times, it does get easier but there are times that it still can be overwhelming.  It is just a uncontrollable need/want to eat something knowing full well you shouldn’t be, and for me personally it’s never when I am actually “hungry“.  I am currently trying to pin point when this happens and I think for me it is when I am bored, mostly when I am home alone, just sitting around watching tv. Also for me now when this happens it is (sorry to all then men that are reading this) when I am around my period is when it happens the most. Most women understand the crazy and uncontrollable cravings related to their hormonal monthly issues, but that still isn’t an excuse to over eat, again the key is to finding tools that help you take control over it not let it control you. The only difference now is when I go on this I guess they call it a binge,  I use foods that are better for me, but that still doesn’t make it ok and hello those food still have calories and still will pack on the weight.  Yes I can say to myself it is better for me to eat baked chips opposed to regular chips, but like I said if you sit down and eat several handfuls, that is simply still to many, and not something I NEED.  When I get like that and find myself wanting to dive into a bag of the baked chips,  (that seems to be my “drug of choice” these days, I will put the bag out of site, and grab veggies.  I am getting better and better with being able to control this issue.  I keep talking to myself telling myself I have come to far and feel to good about myself self to throw it all away for a stupid chip, it’s not worth it!!!  The old saying is so true, NOTHING taste as good as being healthier feels!!!  (Well the actually saying goes nothing taste as good as thin feels) but first and foremost I love the way I feel better, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and secondly comes how I feel about the way I look.  So for me it’s not about being “thin” it’s about being healthier for life is what’s most important to me.  Loving they way I look now is just a great side effect per say of what I am doing, certainly not the only reason for doing this.